live as if this is all there is…

As you know, my life has taken some interesting twists and turns the past few years, and even more so in the past year. Exactly a year ago (+/- a few days), Ivan had just moved out of our apartment and I was left to face the reality of starting over and reexamining who I really was and how I viewed life. My relationship with my parents was a source of tension, and the breakup didn’t do much to ease that tension.

Fast forward a year and it’s amazing how things have changed. My parents and I obviously still don’t agree on some aspects of how I live my life, but time and distance have definitely brought around improvements. Now that I’m living in NYC, I’m no longer a mile away from my parents, no longer can I drop in to say hi, and no longer am I expected to do so. While my parents may not necessarily approve of my living situation, they do respect and admit that the Mister is a kind, caring, responsible guy, and they have a much better connection with him than they had with my ex (there was no connection).

My dad’s birthday was last Friday, and the whole family got together (family = mom, dad, older sister, younger brother, nephew, aunt) along with me and The Mister for dinner in NJ. My dad told me the next day that it was one of the best birthday he’s ever had. I brought individual cupcakes from Crumbs (www.crumbs.com – they are HUGE) for everyone in lieu of a birthday cake, and the food at the restaurant was amazing. Everyone was talking with everyone, and for a few hours we all enjoyed ourselves without worry. After dinner and dessert, while we were taking pictures (my family loves to take pictures), my dad called The Mister to get into a picture, remarking, “Oh, let’s get my future son-in-law in here!”

Despite all of this, I know that there are still difficulties that I will experience in my relationship with my parents, but over time I find that I am less worried about that. Yes, my parents are nice to The Mister and inquire about him and genuinely like him a lot, but that doesn’t change the fact that they can’t accept that he’s not Muslim and choose to ignore that I’m not either. At the end of the day though, I have to live my life for myself and be honest to myself and those around me. My parents may never come to terms with how I choose to live my life, and that’s their prerogative, but it’s my hope that despite that, we can have some kind of relationship. Over the past 2.5 years since I’ve started this blog, finding that balance has become a bit more attainable and a bit easier.

All in all, I’ve found that I worry less about what my parents think and how they respond and focus more on my future and the relationship and friendships that I have. Instead of worrying about whether my parents will ever truly accept me, and maybe even forcing it on them, I’ve begun to move beyond that and have realized that it makes life so much easier. Instead of trying to change my parents mind, I’ve found it’s a lot easier and more rewarding to just enjoy my life and share the happiness that I have. If you see less posts about my parents and Islam and all that, you know why. I’m starting to move beyond this.

In other news, I’ll be leaving for Washington State this Saturday with the Mister. He’s taking the National Dental Board Exam Part 1 in Seattle on the 29th (wish him luck!), so we’re going to go visit his parents and escape and relax by the lake for a little before coming back to New York and starting school, etc. This will my last year of law school, and it will be nice to get away before I go balls to the wall!